Questions for folks... How many folks have had the experience of playing in a BDSM club or other public play space? If not, is this something you might like to do? If so, what are your impressions about any difference between playing privately and playing with observers? Just curious...

haven't, but i might like it. it is definitely something i want to explore.

Do you have ideas about what it might be like, or just a general sense that it's something worth trying?

well, not sure really but the more i read the reports here, the more excited i get by them. and the more i want to see if i could. first i'd have to watch in person and see if my little heart could take that. but i am enjoying a bit of exhibitionism more now than i thought i would as well - inspired by amy and the brave folks on the wankfo. i am just trying to push the envelpoe these days, be bold, try new things. and this is certainly something i want to try.

Did you have specific questions? I can share my experiences regarding the portland and seattle scene if that is useful.

misthread? I'm the top poster who fielded the general question to the board. I have years of experience playing publiy on the East Coast and even a visit or two to LA, but was curious in general about what other people's experiences are doing it, and for those who have tried it, what their sense of public play is about... : )

whoops! yep, brain stuttered on that. that makes more sense, thanks!

I've played in public at bdsm/fetish clubs play parties private house parties Sometimes observers changed the dynamic and energy--in both good and bad ways--sometimes they had no affect on me because we were in our own private world. Respectful or admiring observation from far enough away that they don't impinge on a scene is okay. Sometimes the effect is neutral, and sometimes it is positive. Someone who is giving off vibes as if we were their own private show for their entertainment, or vibes like they are creepy or icky, can squish a scene for me. I limit icky vibes by picking play spaces that are more sheltered or in nooks or out of the way, or in other ways limit my contact with nondesireables. Or I've played and had friends around to 'deflect' if needed, and then I do the same for their scenes. It is usually not necessary, but when I top or dom I like to plan ahead just in case. And when I bottom, I can still think enough to shoo people away if I need to. I am usually comfortable topping or bottoming or domming in public, but rarely feel comfortable enough to sub in public. I have to really really trust the person, and know in my gut that they will take care of everything. And that I don't have to be 'on alert'.

Thank you so much for your thoughts about this. I have also had both good and bad public play experiences. Observers really do change the dynamic for me, as well. The preformance aspect can energize, but I have also found that it has added pressure. I have only subbed publiy, so in these extra pressure circumstances, I have felt much more on the spot about pleasing my Dom, about doing extra well for him. It may sound ridiculous, but I guess I can be overly sensitive about achievement and doing well. It's true, too, about needing to trust that a Dom can carve out an area and strong vibe of control in the play space that will keep me feeling safe. There needs to be a certain "bubble of protection" involved in order for there to be a scene at all that feels right, to me.

Makes sense to me. That "bubble" is essential when I d/s. Because I need the environment around me to be without issues or potential problems in order to feel comfortable enough to "let go" and fall into sub space. And when I dommed, I created the bubble of safety for the other person. And they knew that I was dedicated to their protection and care during the scene. And yeah, it is natural to want to be extra pleasing for the Dom in public, since there is the sense that everything you are doing reflects on him/her, and vise versa. The publicness I think magnifies this effect and desire.

May I ask a ? This has been discussed here before, but because you are a switch, could you tell my how you differentiate btwn bottoming and subbing? Is it the 'relationship' that is present in D/s, but not nec. in topping? fanks (-:

Oh yes.......yes That is sort of the lines along which I was thinking (re: "relationship") but I wasn't sure. I sort of intuitively differentiate btwn D/s and top/bottoming, but I wasn't sure why I did. I like the spanking example-- it is about the Power Exchange. Thanks! As always, you rock!

The more emotionally attached I am, the more intense the experience tends to be as well. I have to be at least mild friends with anyone I do bdsm. So far, the most fulfilling is with someone I love because that accesses more layers both relationshipwise and emotionally. I think part of my needs is to know that the other person regards and appreciates me as an individual. Not a slab of meat.

Yep, I get that !!!

Just once In a club in Detroit. We went there with a group from the homtown. I must say if you've got the nerve the energy level when you do a "scene" is amazing. Plus it's fun to watch those with real experience.

I hear that... the energy can be mind-blowing, One of the coolest things, I feel, I've also loved watching people play and getting a sense of whatever else people do--learning. Also another very cool thing.

Nice subject. For starters I haven't yet but I have a bit of an exhibitionist streak as it is so I think it's inevitable. When that happens it will be with someone thats been significant and not just someone hanging around the club/munch or whathaveyou. I think it delves into the whole trust thing and knowing who the hell you're playing with. The connection, for me, will be deeper, more intense, and most likely be a helluva show when it happens. There have been a few instances where it was known someone was watching but I'm sure it's not quite the same as we'd be in front of a specific audience.

Thanks for responding... : ) I'm strongly suspecting this experience, when it happens will be awesome for you if you have exhibitionistic tendencies. Being connected is, to me, crucial, as you say. I once did a slave auction at a club and wound up playing with someone I didn't really know well. This suckiness was unbelievable. I actually believed it would be better, for whatever reason. Live and learn.