she probably cannot believe you are giving her ultimatums without consideration of her feelings

you can't tell her what to do or not do You can tell her you do not like it and how you feel but you can't forbid her to do it. You can give her that ultimatum but it sounds like she would let you walk away. I think your choices are to take it or leave it. Also, I do not think you have an issue with it b/c it is demeaning to women. I think you are insecure and jealous since you noted first off that she is a beautiful femme.

I haven't I haven't given her an ultimatum yet. I don't want it to come to that. Also, I think strip joints are discusting places and I don't want her subjected to the taunts by the pig-headed men. She's actually showing me how emotionally needy she is by wanting to do this. She's a freaking lesbian for god sakes! Why would a lesbian need to work in a strip club? It just doesn't make sense to me. And like I said, she's college educated with with a good job. She doesn't have debt or any real need for the money she thinks she's going to make. ($300-$500/night)

most strippers are lesbians, hun And they are not there for dates so why should their sexuality matter? You seem overly confused.

I think maybe you are insecure... ...about your relationship. And perhaps have a hidden fear of losing her to another? Or does the fact that she may be fondled by men make your skin crawl? Because I'm femme and I can tell you that my butch would be absolutely LIVID at the thought of another man even looking at me. Don't mean to stereotype here...it's just my personal observation....seems to be that butch chics are extremely territorial with their women. It all comes down to trust, love and respect. If you don't have trust, what do you really have? If you love and respect her, then just as you expect her to consider your opinion, then you need to consider hers. Maybe the two of you can come to a compromise... Example: Maybe she does this part-time, just a couple of nights a week, just enough to pad a savings of substantial substance (which sounds like what she may be wanting to do) and you both agree she not go to full time and agree ahead of time on a quit date. I've gotta be honest with ya...If my breast were as perky now as they were 15 years ago...I might be doing the same thing. NOT to be trashy, NOT because I wanted to, but because it would be a quick and easy way to bring in some cash to benefit not only myself...but my partner and our future...TOGETHER. However, until I get a boob job, that's a non-issue, and probably the real reason why my honey says NO to the boob job! LOL. :-)

I felt degraded working in a professional job at a PR firm, but I did it because the money was good. If she's her ' sole support, it could be a viable economic decision for her as well.

Dude, you just ed her a tramp maybe that relationship isn't as good as you thought it was. "I thought she is someone that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But how do I bring a tramp home to meet my parents. " If you ed me a tramp for simply being a waitress in a strip club, I'd dump your ass.

bark bark You are being mighty judgmental. You got answers you didn't like and ed them "bark[s]". She's taking a job you don't approve of and her a "tramp". Your words are speaking volumes. You can only tell her how you feel. This is your problem, not hers. She made a decision and has a plan, you'll have to decide if you can live with that decision or not. I'm not fond of strip joints and I don't get why someone who is well educated might work at one. I also do not pretend to know what is best for others. But I'd respect her more for going with what she wants to do in life than living a life being controlled by a partner.

bah bah What are you confused about? You sound pretty sure of what you have planned. If she takes the job you are gone. right?

let her take the job or she will let her take the job or she will resent you in the future! your kinda f@#ked! The leaving part if she takes the job is an immature reaction. you stay with her and support her on it! thats what she wants. She is not going to talk to you about it cuz she knows you loose your cool! The best of times in a relationship are the struggles you go through with each other!!

Not fond of strip joints either and a firm believer in 'right livelihood,' trying to do work that makes the world better. But from the perspective of a formerly single mom, money is important. Money means food, rent, and dental care. And getting money from your lover, particularly when you're only six months into a relationship is probably more uncomfortable (emotionally) than going naked. IMHO.

Why does it matter that she's a femme please?

yeah i kinda wondered that too but then i got caught up on the tramp bit

You don't deserve her you should just leave now.

I agree with this. The OP is an ass.