Need advice Good morning all. This may belong in the relationship forum but since some of you know me an a little of my history, I'm asking you guys for advice. I mentioned recently that I stopped taking the pill. Sir and I have decided that we aren't going to actively try to get pregnant but we aren't actively deterring it either. My concerns are many, some of which we've talked about, some I haven't had the courage to bring up. I'm a brat, I love being a brat, I love the age dynamic between us. I don't know if I'm ready to be seen by Him as the mother of His child. Also, how is a baby going to hinder our play? And on a more personal note, we still have our separate homes, is the baby (if it even happens) going to reside with me? Will we consolidate and all live together? I'm rambling, I'm sorry. I'm just panicking, as usual.

umm maybe consider getting married first?

its better for the child

Says who? After all, this is the 21st century.

peditricians, psycholigists

I am with you of course the actual marriage certificate doesn't mean anything to a child - but having two loving dedicated parents makes a big difference to a child. The act of marriage tends to indicate this committment - but does not guarantee anything of course.

yea thats what i mean you dont have to be married but at least living together is better for the child.

yes, the comment about living in different houses is a huge red 43 that they shouldn't be considering children - in my opinion.

exactly

my cue is denial about getting pregnant.

i beg to differ my sons father and i do not live together but that doesnt have any type of effect on our realtionship with our son and how we interact with him. we swap every other week and I work all of the time, and he does the babysitting when hes not in school... so i guess i can say that im pretty lucky

but was it always that way?

I agree w/ spark as well.. Marrige & relationships are nothing compared to having a child, a marrige can end, but a child is yours forever. I am old school, but the best thing my wife & I did was to wait until we knew our marrige was strong before we had kids. It took us x yrs to come to that point. Children are so much more emotionaly dependent on you than a spouse will ever be. I always recomend that people wait years, before having a child. Get married, stay DINC's for at least five years and then see where you are. Kids are serious business. You can always divorce with little consequence when kids aren't involved, but once you have a child, you have a job forever & ever.

says who? and for what reason? I think love and respect between partners is far more important than a certificate, and with a x% divorce rate (or whatever it is these days), marriage is hardly a guarantee of that.

then at least living together