Advice sought from you tactful peeps So my upstairs condo neighbor yesterday informed me that she had bought a gigantic bag of Miracle-Gro fertilizer at Costco for use in our garden. Aside from the certainty that she will charge the hoa for this purchase by deducting it from her condo fees, I was choking at the thought that my 13+ year organic garden will now be subject to the toxic chemicals in Miracle Gro. Yes, it will make the plants grow bigger for a while, but I believe that it will also poison our soil. Right now, even with my neglect of the last few years (or maybe due to it), we have a nice balance with very few pests. We have a lot of salamanders, spiders, earthworms and other useful critters, and I'm cringing thinking about her dumping a bunch of liquid ammonia on their little heads. Ugh. I swore that I would just keep my mouth shut about it, but I find myself dwelling. Should I offer to buy the bag from her (and then give it to my gf for hazmat disposal?). Should I let the matter go? Maybe I'm making too big a deal out of it, but the garden was my baby for ten years before she moved in, I spent a decade organiy amending that soil, and practiy everything out there was sown or planted by me. How should I approach her?

Just like you told us Tact is not always my strong suit, but I was moved by your care and concern for the garden and resident critters. Maybe just lay it out to her like you did here. She may just be going about it differently but obviously cares too abt the garden in her own way.

Do not allow salamanders to be harmed! I think you should just tell her that, wow, you really appreciate her effort, but that you have planted and tended an organic garden, and that kind of fertilizer would upset the balance. Offer her some other way to help the garden. Offer to return the MiracleGro it to the store for her, if you have a car. I think a lot of people just don't know - I didn't used to - they assume that if it has a lovely-looking plant on he label, it's OK. And if the salamanders are in danger, send them to me and I will give them a home next to my newts. I'm not even kidding.

You wouldn't have enough room! Seriously, there are a gazillion salamanders out there. Every time I dig a hole I have to keep an eye out that I don't injure one with the spade. When I move the pots on my patio I have to lift them straight up and not slide them because there are often salamanders under them. We have this little dark gray snaky kind that never gets bigger than 6 inches and then this bigger type with a narrow neck, big head and plump body. The big head ones are black with tiny yellow spots, and they are the most fun because they will stare at you. There used to be a ginormous one in my front wall, and he would poke his head out and eat slugs from my hand.

Wow! Salamander heaven! I would love to see them. And so cool that the big one would eat from your hand! Maybe he's a Pacific Giant, they get pretty darn big. Pictures?

at the very least buy the crap and dispose of it I would tell her in some nice way that you have been the primary caregiver of the garden and it is organic. Then you could suggest something like you could give a demonstration of how to grow organiy to her and the condo folks. You could also say something like "I would totally love help keeping the garden up. I have been diong it alone for 10+ years." then work in the organic thing.

i agree with sunwillshine. if nothing else the gal will know how it is to be green. she may not know what miracle grow is made of.

i agree with sunwillshine. if nothing else the gal will know how it is to be green. she may not know what miracle grow is made of.

thank her, inform her, suggest an alternative I actually prefer some of the organic plant fertilizers out there.

such as ??

peace of mind is a good all purpose organic fertilizer. It is in a green box. Compost is the best but It is hard for me to do with such limited space and such close neighbors.

Rainbow Mix www.planetnatural.com

Thanks! To both of you.

Thanks for the advice I might have to rehearse what I'm going to say. Something about this neighbor makes me a little crazy, and the garden is a sensitive topic.

more to the story Maybe it is more than the just the fertilizer. Are you nervous abt her response?

Question She bought fertilizer. Does that mean she also does active work in the garden? (I'm pretty much assuming yes, but you weren't totally explicit.) If yes, I would start by saying what you just said about the garden being sensitive for you, since you've done it the last x years. And be somewhat apologetic and admit that this is probably a bit silly of you, but follow that up by proposing that, since you are rather motherly towards the garden, perhaps the two of you collaborate and trade ideas on the best way to work together so that everyone's happy (and, of course, one of your suggestions/rules could be "organic").

We've talked at length about the garden. She and her boyfriend are still learning. Hence, they plant vegetables and sun-loving grasses in deep shade and water stuff so much that it rots. I've had to emotionally divorce myself over the last couple of years. I've let it go when they ripped down my clematis ("weed" invading the tree) and charged the hoa for more than $x of plants that will never grow in our garden. I guess the fertilizer feels different to me because it is likely to cause a more systemic and longer-lasting injury to the garden than all of their other blundering.

I think I remember the 'weed' ordeal ugh. Buy her a book on gardening. She seems to want to a lot but is clueless. This seems a 'keep your friends close, and your enemies closer' situation. Change tactics and take her under your wing?